2.) Even at her
most clueless and out of touch, Annie's behavior doesn't come close to what we colloquially (mistakenly) call narcissistic manipulation/abuse (properly called coercive control). I was married to a covert coercive controller for three years and it nearly killed me.
My condolences. I only really had to deal with my mother's narcissism as an adult caretaker for a few years, and that was bad enough. And yes, Annie is nothing like that.
This, I don't really agree with.
Diego was cringing and submissive with Jeanne, even when she restricted
his speech and wrecked his creations, and I don't see that he ever tried to intimidate her, threaten her or otherwise coerce her behavior. He
did spy on her, of course, but that didn't seem to alter Jeanne's behavior and I don't think it was intended to.
It seems to me that Diego's motivation for pursuing Jeanne was not to establish control over her, but simply to get close to her—albeit in ways she wasn't interested in. That is, he resembles an
intimacy-seeking stalker more than a predatory one. (That doesn't make it
better, of course; intimacy-seeking stalkers can be just as dangerous as predatory ones. And they can become murderously resentful when they perceive rejection.)
Likewise, his main motivation for creating the golems was not to have obedient slaves, but to construct a happy family for himself and Jeanne. He died calling them
his children—lovingly, I think. And he wasn't terribly controlling with them, given that after he died they just lived by themselves, free from Court interference, and did whatever they thought best.
As for other facets of narcissism and coercive control: as you point out,
But how does this apply to Diego? He was privately consumed with guilt and regret over Jeanne, to the end of his days…
and beyond, apparently. This wasn't because he feared the consequences of getting caught; the Court's cover-up job ensured that there would be no consequences. Nor was he reacting to negative criticism; the Founders praised him for his actions, and no one else knew about them. Diego simply regretted how he had hurt her.
The most egotistical thing Diego ever did was put angel wings on S1 and (assuming he wrote the script and not the golems) have it play the hero against Sir Young. But he did that in private, and the play still ended by having S1 crawl up to Jeanne's portrait, kneel, and admit guilt. And he built that same admission of guilt into all of his golems, and they passed it onto their descendants for perpetuity. He fantasized about bringing Young to justice, but not about vindication for himself. He knew the wrong he had done.
Lastly, Diego acknowledged Jeanne's sadness while she was alive, and tormented himself by imagining her loneliness at the end. That is, he showed way more affective empathy than a typical narcissist would have. It lost to his resentment, jealousy and fear of Young when he betrayed her, but it was there.
Personally, the only GC characters I would describe as narcissists are Coyote (grandiose) and Loup (vulnerable). And
maybe Sir Young and Headmaster Llanwellyn, though we haven't seen enough of either to be sure. I think the Forest is a much more narcissism-friendly place than the Court, because the great beasts are fundamentally individualistic and competitive, and because for etheric beings, maintaining their self-concepts is a survival issue. Coyote, for instance, is nearly omnipotent
because he thinks he should be.The Court probably doesn't tolerate narcissism, except (as in most businesses) at the very top. Everyone else is expected to subordinate their will to the institutional agenda.
Working with crows must have been incredible! I'm fascinated by them and part of me would love to get to know a corvid or a few at some point. Probably bot in this lifetime. I lived with and cared for a Blue Front Amazon Parrot for three years and caring for birds is a LOT of work!
Yes, I would not recommend a crow as a house pet. They're too inquisitive and destructive—it would be like having a pet kea. But of course you can get to know the families in your neighborhood easily enough; their territories are pretty stable from year to year. And the individuals can often be recognized by size, calls or disease markers (lots of foot deformities and avian pox, alas.)
Just don't do anything crazy like walking toward them, looking directly at them, talking about them, thinking about them, or attempting to do a research thesis on them. They
hate that. I've never known a bird so sensitive to human attention. When we studied them on a golf course we had to bring golf clubs, long sticks or umbrellas and make periodic practice swings so they wouldn't think we were up to anything suspicious. I love them so much.
Never had a parrot, but a girlfriend had a monk parakeet until she died during a routine surgery (the parakeet, not the girlfriend). She was a doll.
And Robot as well... maybe, behind all those feathers and shadows (and barnacles). 
Didn't know about that, it's the first time I heard/read about this.
