[2679] "I hope you're not too jealous."
Sept 26, 2022 5:01:09 GMT
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mochakimono, heranje, and 6 more like this
Post by Polyhymnia on Sept 26, 2022 5:01:09 GMT
I have no idea how things will play out, but I do have to say I’ve been a little disappointed watching the discussion play out. There seems to be a fair amount of discomfort around the idea of Annie being a-spec. I don’t mean to say I’m upset by people having different opinions, but the manner of dismissal has been uncomfortable for me. Kinda “prove it,” “why discuss it?” “Too soon to tell (so don’t speculate).” Idk.
Regardless of however Annie’s sexuality develops, it’s worth noting how incredibly ubiquitous romance is in stories, especially coming-of-age stories. Sure, it’s hard to prove a lack of something…ask me how I know. It’s just incredibly rare to see coming of age stories handle romance *so many times* and allow a protagonist to not be romantically involved. It is so, so rare to see stories where platonic/familial relationships are the most important ones in a person’s life even as they grow up and are shown to be at an age where their peers are all dating. Where they often feel awkward for being the unpaired one. It’s rare to see stories where a person’s desire to have a relationship is more about the desire to have what people have rather than because they are attracted to the relationship target. It’s rare to see a story that deals with the loneliness of watching a friend develop a romantic attachment (and that person is maybe the most important person in your life) and you can’t help feel that without them, you’ll be alone. (But you don’t actually really want to be in love, you just don’t want to be alone, and you worry because you know romantic relationships are valued as something “more than” friendship and they’re going to be exclusive with someone else and leave you behind).
I guess what I’m saying is that whether or not Annie ultimately gets romantically involved with someone else, the comic explores a whole lot of human experiences that are maybe particularly relatable things for a-spec people. That includes occasional obliviousness to whatever romantic/sexual laws everyone else apparently operates under. And I also think it’s worth noting how regularly I hear stuff about sexual &/or romantic attraction. People talk about it like it’s a law of gravity for teens to throw themselves on each other or making someone jealous so they become possessive. And yes, maybe it is! For many people! But not everyone, yet that’s not acknowledged in most fiction.
Idk, I just think a lot of negative a-spec experiences are about “when you’re older you’ll understand” or “you just haven’t met the right person” or “how can you know unless you’ve tried xyz” or “I know someone who can fix that.” And you know what? Maybe there is the perfect person out there or someone will come along and upend previous assumptions. But sexuality is not necessarily this unchangeable static thing that can’t ever change with new info. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with identifying as a-spec and then realizing later that maybe you were wrong. But the thrust of discussions are about proving that you’re wrong and that there’s something wrong with not experiencing romantic or sexual desire the appropriate way. That you shouldn’t be content with it. You shouldn’t use the ace label until you’ve exhausted all options . It’s a last resort. Prove it first. (because idk, ace is bad? To-be-avoided?). And seeing flavors of that reflected in the discourse is uncomfortable.
So that was admittedly personal and I do want to be clear that people are free to disagree with any ace readings of Annie that they want or to feel uncomfortable with discussions of romance or sexuality entirely (though I hope people recognize that it’s a double standard to consider Annie’s sexuality taboo while sex and romance frequently comes up with other characters, as mentioned most recently with Lana, and that Annie’s general lack of attraction to the peers in her life is in and of itself an aspect of sexuality; also worth noting is her death-via-reproduction condition that she so far has not really chafed against when it comes to teenage hormonal attractions). This is a place for discussion. But I hope to offer a little bit of perspective on why an ace reading of Annie matters to people. I literally cannot think of a story that feels more like my own experience (except for maybe this one 80s historical fiction story and maybe the parts of the most recent adaption of Little Women) .
Seriously, I have a bookshelf full of fantasy and historical fiction and they all include romance because it’s so ubiquitous we take it for granted.
Regardless of however Annie’s sexuality develops, it’s worth noting how incredibly ubiquitous romance is in stories, especially coming-of-age stories. Sure, it’s hard to prove a lack of something…ask me how I know. It’s just incredibly rare to see coming of age stories handle romance *so many times* and allow a protagonist to not be romantically involved. It is so, so rare to see stories where platonic/familial relationships are the most important ones in a person’s life even as they grow up and are shown to be at an age where their peers are all dating. Where they often feel awkward for being the unpaired one. It’s rare to see stories where a person’s desire to have a relationship is more about the desire to have what people have rather than because they are attracted to the relationship target. It’s rare to see a story that deals with the loneliness of watching a friend develop a romantic attachment (and that person is maybe the most important person in your life) and you can’t help feel that without them, you’ll be alone. (But you don’t actually really want to be in love, you just don’t want to be alone, and you worry because you know romantic relationships are valued as something “more than” friendship and they’re going to be exclusive with someone else and leave you behind).
I guess what I’m saying is that whether or not Annie ultimately gets romantically involved with someone else, the comic explores a whole lot of human experiences that are maybe particularly relatable things for a-spec people. That includes occasional obliviousness to whatever romantic/sexual laws everyone else apparently operates under. And I also think it’s worth noting how regularly I hear stuff about sexual &/or romantic attraction. People talk about it like it’s a law of gravity for teens to throw themselves on each other or making someone jealous so they become possessive. And yes, maybe it is! For many people! But not everyone, yet that’s not acknowledged in most fiction.
Idk, I just think a lot of negative a-spec experiences are about “when you’re older you’ll understand” or “you just haven’t met the right person” or “how can you know unless you’ve tried xyz” or “I know someone who can fix that.” And you know what? Maybe there is the perfect person out there or someone will come along and upend previous assumptions. But sexuality is not necessarily this unchangeable static thing that can’t ever change with new info. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with identifying as a-spec and then realizing later that maybe you were wrong. But the thrust of discussions are about proving that you’re wrong and that there’s something wrong with not experiencing romantic or sexual desire the appropriate way. That you shouldn’t be content with it. You shouldn’t use the ace label until you’ve exhausted all options . It’s a last resort. Prove it first. (because idk, ace is bad? To-be-avoided?). And seeing flavors of that reflected in the discourse is uncomfortable.
So that was admittedly personal and I do want to be clear that people are free to disagree with any ace readings of Annie that they want or to feel uncomfortable with discussions of romance or sexuality entirely (though I hope people recognize that it’s a double standard to consider Annie’s sexuality taboo while sex and romance frequently comes up with other characters, as mentioned most recently with Lana, and that Annie’s general lack of attraction to the peers in her life is in and of itself an aspect of sexuality; also worth noting is her death-via-reproduction condition that she so far has not really chafed against when it comes to teenage hormonal attractions). This is a place for discussion. But I hope to offer a little bit of perspective on why an ace reading of Annie matters to people. I literally cannot think of a story that feels more like my own experience (except for maybe this one 80s historical fiction story and maybe the parts of the most recent adaption of Little Women) .
Seriously, I have a bookshelf full of fantasy and historical fiction and they all include romance because it’s so ubiquitous we take it for granted.
