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Post by davidm on Sept 9, 2016 6:20:16 GMT
Chapter 1 gunnerkrigg.com/?p=648"Yes, perfect! She will love you!" exclaimed Diego. But she didn't, why? ... Jeannie had a restless sleep. That horrible Diego! And all his terrible robots. "They will love me? I don't want their love!" she thought. But in her mind an image would not go away, the most terrible robot of all, small like Diego, ugly... only a box. And while all the other robots had tried to sound at least somewhat intelligent, all it had said was "Hello!"... then "Awwwwww!" when she angrily told it to go away. Why couldn't she dream of her love. Or of the forest. Or of even any other robot, a graceful one perhaps at least? Why did the image of that terrible box keep haunting her dreams? |
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Post by freeformline on Sept 9, 2016 9:23:40 GMT
The potential of this story has me both terrified and entranced. I eagerly await your next installment, if only out of hope that it is bad enough to turn me away from this ship permanently.
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Post by davidm on Sept 9, 2016 14:04:39 GMT
Chapter 2
Jeannie's boyfriend loved her and was obsessed with her. Diego's robots tried to fawn over her with their fake programmed love but she chased them away or smashed them. But that one terrible box, it didn't seem to care about her at all!
"That must be the key," Jeannie thought. Boxbot doesn't love me, it is proof that horrible Diego screwed up or lied about all robots loving her. 'Mystery solved," she smiled. With her deft logic she had defeated another Diego phantasm.
Jeannie was hungry, she wanted some breakfast. On the way, she saw the boxbot cleaning a floor. "You don't love me, do you?" Jeannie gloated at it.
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Post by davidm on Sept 9, 2016 22:39:42 GMT
Chapter 3
"It makes you happy to think that I don't" observed the boxbot. 'He has parried my thrust' thought Jeannie angrily.
"Do you love me?" demanded Jeannie. "Love is not simple" dodged Boxbot.
Jeannie could not believe she was arguing with Diego's ugliest robot, and starting to treat it like a person. This must stop. She must assert her superiority.
"What do you know about love?" she scoffed. "Humans know love. Elves dance in love. Bots are just puppets following cold logic strings."
Boxbot did not reply. "Got him" Jeannie thought. She further bragged, "My boyfriend has taught me the 7 secret elvish to please your love!"
Boxbot looked at her. Those eyes, they pierced her. Boxbot quietly and coldly replied "there must be 50 ways to please a lover"
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Post by davidm on Sept 11, 2016 4:48:54 GMT
Chapter 4
Jeanne turned red with anger. She couldn't believe she was discussing love with that terrible Boxbot.
She had to go. She no longer wanted to eat. She no longer wanted to be in the Court. As fast as she could she ran into the forest. She needed her Love.
She found him, she ran to him, she hugged and kissed him. He kissed her back. Jeannie suggests they go down by the pond and lay in the sand.
Her love replied: "I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything is soft and smooth."
"I uh, I'm not feeling so well suddenly", Jeannie lied. She started slowly walking back to the court. "I will be back later" she said as she left.
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Post by davidm on Sept 11, 2016 5:13:21 GMT
Chapter 5
As Jeannie walked to her room, she saw Boxbot cleaning the floor in the hall again. She told him "the floor in my room needs cleaning". Boxbot replied "As you wish", and followed her.
In her room, she told Boxbot "I want to romance my boyfriend, you said there must be 50 ways..."
Boxbot replied, "for example you can groom him". "I don't understand".
Boxbot explained "An ape in forest will clean the fur of its mate of parasites. A cat will lick its mate. An elf wants his hair made up" Boxbot demonstrated by starting to brush and braid Jeanne's hair.
Jeanne shivered at Boxbot's soft touches. She felt warm, strange. She saw herself blushing in mirror. "I am not going to love a terrible robot!" she thought angrily
Jeanne threw Boxbot into the burning fireplace. She then noticed strange writing as he began to glow red hot. It was in old english, as best she could translate it read:
"Three Seeds(?) for the creatures in the forest, [(?) old english "sæd", Jeanne wasn't sure it meant seed ]
Seven for the robots in their halls of iron,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the terrible Bot in his terrible Box,
One Seed to rule them all. One seed to find them,
One Seed to bring them all and in the Boxbot bind them."
[With this ends Book 1, "Fellowship with the Boxbot". The story continues with book 2, "The Two Broom Closets"]
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Post by davidm on Sept 12, 2016 0:43:04 GMT
Book 2, The Two Broom Closets
Chapter 1
Jeanne used fireplace tongs to pull Boxbot out of the fire. He seemed unharmed, as he cooled the strange writing on him disappeared.
"One Seed to rule them all", there was something precious in those words. She felt an aching need to get that power, and also to keep it secret.
Jeanne feared that hidden eyes were watching her, even alone with Boxbot in this room, she frantically looked for a place to hide and to learn about her preciousss bot's power.
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Post by davidm on Sept 12, 2016 0:48:03 GMT
Chapter 2
Jeanne had run to him full of love and hugs and kisses. But then she left him alone in the forest, her eyes avoiding his glance. Something was not right.
He found a hat to hide his pointy ears. He colored his skin with cream to better match humans. He found his hidden stash of clothing carefully stolen from the Court by his friends.
He snuck into the court, he snuck into Jeanne's room. But she wasn't there. Or was she? He heard soft moaning sounds coming from the broom closet.
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Post by davidm on Sept 13, 2016 4:24:07 GMT
Chapter 3
As he listened and looked though the crack in the broom closet door, he felt fear. Fear lead to anger. Anger lead to hate. Hate lead to terrible.
Later, in another room. "But the one you have chosen as... the sacrifice..." "It must be Jeanne. The plan will work with no one else. It must be her."
"I agree", he said as he entered the room and took off his hat, revealing his pointed ears.
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Post by davidm on Sept 13, 2016 5:25:33 GMT
Chapter 4
"I work for the CIA, I know your plan", he explained "CIA?" a tall one asked. "Forest spy agency."
They still looked puzzled, so he rolled his eyes and explained further "Cleavage Inspection Agency". Around the room were looks of admiration.
"They can only look, I can touch... human... but she lusts for another... terrible... worse than death... I would be joke forever."
"I will die now, I will be legend forever. The secret will not get out"
The short human with the big nose locked eyes with him, with complete understanding. Yes in another world they could have been brothers, spying on cleavage together.
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Post by Daedalus on Sept 13, 2016 6:23:37 GMT
Maybe if we ignore this thread it'll go away.
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Post by davidm on Sept 13, 2016 7:03:31 GMT
Maybe if we ignore this thread it'll go away. [I had assumed anyone who did not care for the fanfic would not go in to read it after looking once (very easy to avoid), and anyone who enjoyed it at least a little would read it. Based on views I was guessing 20 to 40 people did enjoy it a little. It is fanfic/parody/joke/caricature, obviously different people have different senses of humor. Sorry if I have offended by having people portrayed as shallow. Real world I see comics full of cleavage, and teen romance novels where the dream guy is a billionaire, doctor/lawyer/top spy or otherwise powerful... eg. in "Pride and Prejudice" Mr. Darcy is the richest guy... Real life people go in debt to buy an SUV or pair of high heel shoes to act "sexy"/"winning".] |
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Post by Daedalus on Sept 14, 2016 19:40:51 GMT
The joke was that the traditional response to Boxbot is "Maybe if we ignore him, he'll go away"  |
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Post by fish on Sept 14, 2016 19:54:52 GMT
The joke was that the traditional response to Boxbot is "Maybe if we ignore him, he'll go away" Poe's law in action. There were no smileys or the like to indicate your lack of seriousness (I fell for it, too, haha). But maybe we can put a blanket over this thread.  |
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Post by Daedalus on Sept 14, 2016 20:37:34 GMT
The joke was that the traditional response to Boxbot is "Maybe if we ignore him, he'll go away" Poe's law in action. There were no smileys or the like to indicate your lack of seriousness (I fell for it, too, haha). But maybe we can put a blanket over this thread. But nobody smiles when they're around Boxbot! |
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Post by jda on Feb 3, 2019 6:18:42 GMT
Maybe if we ignore this thread it'll go away. [I had assumed anyone who did not care for the fanfic would not go in to read it after looking once (very easy to avoid), and anyone who enjoyed it at least a little would read it. Based on views I was guessing 20 to 40 people did enjoy it a little. It is fanfic/parody/joke/caricature, obviously different people have different senses of humor. Sorry if I have offended by having people portrayed as shallow. Real world I see comics full of cleavage, and teen romance novels where the dream guy is a billionaire, doctor/lawyer/top spy or otherwise powerful... eg. in "Pride and Prejudice" Mr. Darcy is the richest guy... Real life people go in debt to buy an SUV or pair of high heel shoes to act "sexy"/"winning". Damn, I am going to Necro this thread just to say that I was stumped for Daedalus interruption, for once!  But it was better this way. Or Terribler, I mean. |
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Post by saardvark on Feb 3, 2019 17:18:56 GMT
[I had assumed anyone who did not care for the fanfic would not go in to read it after looking once (very easy to avoid), and anyone who enjoyed it at least a little would read it. Based on views I was guessing 20 to 40 people did enjoy it a little. It is fanfic/parody/joke/caricature, obviously different people have different senses of humor. Sorry if I have offended by having people portrayed as shallow. Real world I see comics full of cleavage, and teen romance novels where the dream guy is a billionaire, doctor/lawyer/top spy or otherwise powerful... eg. in "Pride and Prejudice" Mr. Darcy is the richest guy... Real life people go in debt to buy an SUV or pair of high heel shoes to act "sexy"/"winning". Damn, I am going to Necro this thread just to say that I was stumped for Daedalus interruption, for once! But it was better this way. Or Terribler, I mean. thanks for Necro-ing the thread; I hadn't seen it before! A fine twisted bit of fanfic, a tip of the hat to davidm! |
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