[1859] People don't like my father

[dreki]

Jul 20, 2017 20:03:58 GMT antiyonder said:

Also, I wonder. Given how Annie explained her stance this page/chapter, I wonder if part of the reason for trying to stick up for her father for quite sometime was out of pity. You know from being surrounded by people who just hated and talked ill of him.

I used to do this with my mother. She has really serious issues that she's never sorted out. It made her very abusive and neglectful. When I was 5 I knew that she didn't really love me.

So, lots of similarities to Annie. Not identical. You could argue it's difficult because that's not how Anthony "really" is, he feels guilty, yadda yadda yadda.

1. It's possible Anthony was lying with the "the man who killed her mother" crap. He just shows that "side" to Donlan and Anja to keep them around. It is possible he's subtly manipulative. Not all manipulators are charismatic. The non-charismatic ones can be weirdly successful manipulators. You pity them and can't imagine someone so pitifully socially unaware could ever manipulate. Anything that makes you uncomfortable is just brushed off as "oh, they're socially awkward, they don't know better".
2. Annie doesn't know that! Annie has only seen what I saw. A cold, unloving father who only acknowledges her when he wants something from her, to verbally abuse her, to control her. He ignores her the rest of the time, never tries to interact with her, etc. Annie can't factor in information she was never given. And everyone else can tell her "he's X, he's Y"- but her own personal experience negates that.

And my mom makes people uncomfortable. You can watch it happen. 5 minutes into a conversation with her, you can watch their facial expression change. Unlike Anthony, or maybe like Anthony, I've also seen times where I think she realizes she's making someone uncomfortable and gets sad/upset herself. I used to feel really, really bad for her.

And, yes, it would be creepy as CRAP to walk in on a close friend of mine laughing and getting on with her like that. 

Kat's lucky that Annie is addressing this heads on. When I was a kid, I would have just stopped trusting Kat and ghosted her. I don't think there'd be any coming back from it for young-me. Adult!Me would discuss it with the person but still put a ton of distance. My mother would go behind people's backs and lie, the second someone trusted her the way Kat does- I considered them unsafe. I would feel incredibly sick about everything Kat knew about me that she could now be sharing. Which would now be used to hurt me. 

I hope that Kat at least had the wisdom not to talk about Annie with him. She clearly never asked Annie's permission to.

[pyradonis]

Jul 21, 2017 5:46:54 GMT dreki said:

Jul 20, 2017 20:03:58 GMT antiyonder said:

Also, I wonder. Given how Annie explained her stance this page/chapter, I wonder if part of the reason for trying to stick up for her father for quite sometime was out of pity. You know from being surrounded by people who just hated and talked ill of him.

He ignores her the rest of the time, never tries to interact with her, etc.

That they were going to have dinner together before Juliette & Arthur visited Kat speaks otherwise. We don't know if it was the first or only time, but we know it's more than "never".