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Post by spritznar on May 27, 2013 17:11:17 GMT
btw, I'm quite intrigued by the fact that there are more asexual than gay people on this board! I was wondering if any of the asexual people out there (marnath?) would be able to share their experience and/or clarify if that means they are aromantic AND asexual or whether they do have romantic feelings? [...] My experience has been that I do appreciate pretty girls from the standpoint that they're pretty, and sometimes I see a picture of a girl I'd describe as hot. But in real life, face to face? Never, that I can think of. I think some girls are pretty but I've never wanted to do anything about it. I've never been on a date, and I don't ever intend to. The few girls that have hit on me or whatever I've turned down. [...] my situation is similar. with the notable exception that i love reading romance stories. i even have a healthy appreciation for smut. it just doesn't translate into my real world interactions. but this might largely be lack of opportunity. i compartmentalize my sexual desires to a 'safe space' so as not to impose them on people who in all likelyhood don't return them. and since the one person who's ever asked me out has been the wrong gender i've never had a 'safe' person to explore my feelings with. but then again there's the fact that i don't have a particular desire to go find such a person. i'm pretty content here by myself with my romance novels. i figure i'm definitely homoromantic, just not entirely clear about the sexual part (still chose k6 over ace in the poll) |
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Post by The Anarch on May 27, 2013 17:50:31 GMT
I self-identify as K1 myself. I wouldn't mind taking part in a Johnny Depp/Nathan Fillion/Brad Pitt fourway, there's one guy in my personal life that I have been attracted to, and I am open to the possibility of there being others in the future . . . but for the most part I am all about the ladies.
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Post by SerenaJo on May 27, 2013 18:06:21 GMT
K3 I guess... but I really have no idea. I have feels and a lot of them but have trouble identifying exactly what they are. I, for example, am only sexually attracted to women but show little to no romantic interest in anyone and don't have much of a libido. So "heterosexual" doesn't really cover it. I'm still curious to know if there's a label for that Gray asexual maybe? That leaves room for some level of sexual attraction, and you can add on aromantic as needed. |
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Post by spritznar on May 27, 2013 18:17:48 GMT
everytime i see "aromantic" i read it as "aromatic" which just... -_-;
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Post by arabesque on May 27, 2013 18:37:26 GMT
I, for example, am only sexually attracted to women but show little to no romantic interest in anyone and don't have much of a libido. So "heterosexual" doesn't really cover it. I'm still curious to know if there's a label for that Gray asexual maybe? That leaves room for some level of sexual attraction, and you can add on aromantic as needed. That sounds pretty spot on. Thanks =) |
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Post by GK Sierra on May 27, 2013 18:48:28 GMT
everytime i see "aromantic" i read it as "aromatic" which just... -_-; They aren't rejecting love, they are merely substituting it with a gentle smell of peaches! |
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Post by snipertom on May 27, 2013 19:40:18 GMT
everytime i see "aromantic" i read it as "aromatic" which just... -_-; They aren't rejecting love, they are merely substituting it with a gentle smell of peaches! Goddammit now I'm hungry AND I have "Peaches" by PUSA stuck in my head! |
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Post by mercuryp on May 27, 2013 20:13:22 GMT
i think of pansexual as a perfect 3, cause if you're attracted to both sexes completely equally then gender is no longer a factor in your attraction...? but i'm not entirely clear on the nuances of pansexuality Pansexuality is a bit different from "perfect" bisexuality, though. The easy way to think of it is liking other gender expressions besides simple male/female. Technically it is more like being attracted to people without involving gender at all. Personally, I think these three questions cover most of the basic sexualities: 1) Which gender do you prefer in a partner? 2) How important is gender in a partner? 3) How high is your attraction to people in general? Pansexual would be 1) Anything, 2) Not important, 3) On the higher end. Pansexual people actually can have a gender preference, it just isn't as important to them as it is to others. Someone who is "perfectly" bisexual would be 1) Either works, 2) Important, 3) Anything. They differ from pansexual people in that they like people on the basis of gender, they just happen to like both flavors. Asexual would be 1) Anything, 2) Anything, 3) Very low. Romantic asexual people are likely to have preferences to answering the first two questions. These questions aren't independent from one another, though, so it isn't perfect. But it seems to be a reasonable approach to me. Of course, like gender identities, sexuality can be anything you want it to be. If you like people exclusively based on how close they are to being 5'5"/165cm and how much they enjoy swimming, that's your sexuality. We only label things and make systems about it because we're humans and we like patterns. |
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Post by Hraefncin on May 27, 2013 21:16:42 GMT
So I totally new to the forums--is there an intro/newbie page?
I feel like I'm butting into an ongoing discussion--but seeing as this is the internet, I'll give a shot:
I'd say I'm romantically bi--as in I'd enjoy being in a relationship with a person of either sex (or any--not just male of female); but I'm probably borderline asexual--I'm not really interested in sex with anyone. I like "sexy" but not sex--so I don't really know where I'd rate on the Knsey scale.
RE: sexuality in society & label(ing)--I think it's true that sexuality is very complex and that terms such as "hetero" or "gay" are just labels, and that such labels can be used to negative effect--however, we use such labels all the time: I identify as Irish American (even though I'm many generations removed from Eirinn); however I'm also Norwegian American, French American, and German American. When it comes to something like ethnic descent, we seem to understand that you can be a "mix", so a single label just doesn't really work; but when we talk about sexuality, we (as a society) tend to assume that our labels fit better (which should be the opposite, since my ethnicity is governed by that of my parents, but my sexuality is (at least, mostly) individual--which means that it's far more complicated).
Anyways, just my take. Thought I'd start frequenting the GC fora. Peace out!
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Post by seaofalchemy on May 27, 2013 21:54:14 GMT
I picked "K!:I'm omni/pansexual!," and it appears that I am the only one on here who did considering that I see this right after I submitted my vote: "(1 vote, 1.1%)" ... Well, I'm actually "queer." It's definitely more than a sexuality; it's also a gender identity. However, I believe I read somewhere here that someone was queer too. Yaaay! :3 EDIT: I should also add, however, that upon making new heterosexual friends, I usually come out to them as "gay." I assume that they are not familiar with the reclaimed term of "queer" and "queer culture." Only later do I admit that I'm queer and then further elaborate the nuances of "queer." So I totally new to the forums--is there an intro/newbie page? There's "The Introduction Thread." Welcome!  |
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Post by Incoherrant on May 27, 2013 23:38:26 GMT
'Sup. Signed up for the forum and drew a thing just for this thread (feel special, yo).  There’s some gaps in this still, but I’m not sure how to represent the rest. X axis goes grey towards the center as an indication of increased “it doesn’t matter/either works”. Z axis goes from “I’m happy on my own” across “companionate love is where it’s at” to “delicious sex”. This does not imply people who like sex don’t like emotional attachment, though. :V Y axis is different from “born as this sex”. It could account for natural hermaphrodites, rare as they may be, but is probably way more relevant for trans* people. dloop I identify as genderfluid, so it's very difficult for me to really pick a spot on the Kinsey scale. I tend to go with pansexual as it covers everything, but I have a pretty strong romantic preference for ladies and a mild sexual preference for guys. It's a mess, honestly. |
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lit
Full Member
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Post by lit on May 28, 2013 18:58:57 GMT
btw, I'm quite intrigued by the fact that there are more asexual than gay people on this board! I was wondering if any of the asexual people out there (marnath?) would be able to share their experience and/or clarify if that means they are aromantic AND asexual or whether they do have romantic feelings? In response to the questions about how to answer the poll if you are asexual but do have some attraction to others... I'm not entirely sure. It's definitely a limitation of the Kinsey scale, but I suppose answer with whichever you think is the more dominant part of your sexual orientation or which you identify with more? Asexual is definitely somewhat of a simplification. It is accurate: I don't feel sexual attraction - I never really want to have sex with anybody. I do feel different kinds of attractions - sensual and romantic - to all sorts of people. As for gender, I don't identify as a man or a woman. That's pretty much the most accurate way to describe it. - Incoherrant, your sliding scale is beautiful. |
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Post by Hraefncin on May 29, 2013 0:38:40 GMT
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Kuraru
Junior Member
The mind is just a plaything of the body, is it not?
Posts: 75
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Post by Kuraru on May 29, 2013 4:11:07 GMT
'Sup. Signed up for the forum and drew a thing just for this thread (feel special, yo). There’s some gaps in this still, but I’m not sure how to represent the rest. X axis goes grey towards the center as an indication of increased “it doesn’t matter/either works”. Z axis goes from “I’m happy on my own” across “companionate love is where it’s at” to “delicious sex”. This does not imply people who like sex don’t like emotional attachment, though. :V Y axis is different from “born as this sex”. It could account for natural hermaphrodites, rare as they may be, but is probably way more relevant for trans* people. dloop I identify as genderfluid, so it's very difficult for me to really pick a spot on the Kinsey scale. I tend to go with pansexual as it covers everything, but I have a pretty strong romantic preference for ladies and a mild sexual preference for guys. It's a mess, honestly. I was thinking of making something like this, realised it would be nigh-impossible to make it exhaustive, and was thinking about making a non-functional one as a joke when I saw this. Kinda glad you did make this before me - you did it better than I could've. Sexually I'm only attracted to the opposite sex, so on the Kinsey scale I'm at K0. On incoherrent's 3D scale, well, that's more complicated. I've never been in a romantic relationship, so I don't know for sure what sort of relationship I'd prefer. I think I'd prefer a primarily romantic relationship with the option of sex. Romantically (rather than sexually) I don't think I have a preference for one sex or the other. As for my identity, I'm male, but I honestly don't consider that to be an important part of my identity in any way. I might as well be agender, but I'm fine with being male. So, I guess I'm floating around in the middle of all three axes, shrugging my shoulders saying "I dunno, whatever's good, I guess".  |
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Post by snipertom on May 29, 2013 11:57:01 GMT
Indeed! I feel mostly female but sometimes more male, but honestly it's not a big part of my identity in general. Which I guess makes me genderfluid?
<silliness>
Whenever I feel unsure about myself I think I'm going to tell people "look, just imagine that I was born a floating octopus in the middle of a forest. and then maybe some guy told me that hanging out in the ocean might be a good idea. and then I dived into the ocean". And that would that!
</silliness>
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Post by tyrianred on May 29, 2013 14:08:21 GMT
Very interesting. I am female, and if we were using the kinsey scale only, I would probably have to identify as a 1. I have only ever considered dating men, but I am occasionally hit over the head by how hot a woman looks. With women, it never goes beyond momentary appreciation, though.
That said, I identify as mostly asexual. I have gone for years with no appreciable attraction to someone. When I do like a man, it has far more to do with his personality than any maleness. However, as has been said, sexuality is very complex. I am currently in a relationship with someone, and have discovered that I do have a quite healthy libido. My libido just didn't exist before being in a relationship with someone whom I find intellectually fulfilling.
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neal
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Post by neal on May 29, 2013 16:15:52 GMT
Man, lots of asexual/grey-a's on here. That is interesting, I'm always so interested to hear the ace perspective, because I'm bisexual (?) and so, so strongly sexual. So it is just a completely different way that people interact with the world than me.
This arc has been hitting me hard, because it is so similar to me and relationships I had at that age. Ugh, it is so cute it hurts me.
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Post by basser on May 29, 2013 16:55:56 GMT
Pansexuals represent! I'll shack up with anyone. Also agendered/genderfluid or whatever you want to call it when someone exists in a grey area between dudehood and ladyhood.
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Post by legion on May 29, 2013 17:06:00 GMT
Basser! You're alive!
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Post by Marnath on May 29, 2013 20:32:21 GMT
Very interesting. I am female, and if we were using the kinsey scale only, I would probably have to identify as a 1. I have only ever considered dating men, but I am occasionally hit over the head by how hot a woman looks. With women, it never goes beyond momentary appreciation, though. That said, I identify as mostly asexual. I have gone for years with no appreciable attraction to someone. When I do like a man, it has far more to do with his personality than any maleness. However, as has been said, sexuality is very complex. I am currently in a relationship with someone, and have discovered that I do have a quite healthy libido. My libido just didn't exist before being in a relationship with someone whom I find intellectually fulfilling. That sounds like Demi-sexual then. |
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Post by Per on May 29, 2013 20:34:08 GMT
A demi-sexual is to a sexual like a demi-lich is to a lich.
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Post by snipertom on May 29, 2013 22:27:58 GMT
an undead Demi Moore?
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Post by xtinas on May 30, 2013 3:17:23 GMT
I'm a Kinsey "to hell with men", so whatever that number is. For romantic orientation, I'm with my genderqueer partner, so whatever that is. For sexual stuff, that seems awfully meat-sack of me, I could be coding, so whatever that is.  |
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Post by GK Sierra on May 30, 2013 5:10:00 GMT
ITT: the low birthrate of industrialized nations is explained in detail
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Post by snipertom on May 30, 2013 11:46:38 GMT
THE DESTRUCTION OF MODERN HEATHEN CIVILISATION BY THE QUEERS IS EXPLAINED!!!
REPENT!!!
LESBIANISM AND SAPPHISTS EVERYWHERE!!!! ROBUTTS!!!
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Post by GK Sierra on May 30, 2013 23:54:21 GMT
THE DESTRUCTION OF MODERN HEATHEN CIVILISATION BY THE QUEERS IS EXPLAINED!!! REPENT!!! LESBIANISM AND SAPPHISTS EVERYWHERE!!!! ROBUTTS!!! I was thinking more along the lines of "plz donate to local fertility clinic even if you are gay/asexual, kthxbai". You get paid AND you do your part to keep your respective nation afloat. |
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tpman
Full Member
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Post by tpman on May 31, 2013 0:55:01 GMT
ITT: the low birthrate of industrialized nations is explained in detail I think it's more of an economic thing really. Children are a huge burden in the industrial world whereas they help keep the family afloat in less industrialized places and times. |
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Post by GK Sierra on May 31, 2013 2:33:53 GMT
ITT: the low birthrate of industrialized nations is explained in detail I think it's more of an economic thing really. Children are a huge burden in the industrial world whereas they help keep the family afloat in less industrialized places and times. Also very true. |
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Post by Incoherrant on May 31, 2013 2:41:28 GMT
People going on about "plz remember to hav children" at not-straight people really need to remember that it's far from all straight couples who do have some. Also gay couples being able to adopt. A host of yeses. |
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Post by GK Sierra on May 31, 2013 2:45:34 GMT
Also gay couples being able to adopt. A host of yeses. Two moms? Hell, sign me up. I'll trade in a slightly used father for money down. Oh wait, my childhood is over.  |
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