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Post by idonotlikepeas on Apr 10, 2010 1:16:12 GMT
I saw the following on Mr. Siddell's formspring today: Does the robot Jack just killed have a name/ID number so we can mourn for him properly?"Guard Robot" It wasn't my question, but it got me thinking: maybe we can mourn him properly now? Let's see. Goodbye Guard Robot Though you couldn't whistle at all You wore an awesome suit and tie While you were walking through your hall They snuck into your corridor And Jack bashed in your brain With a piece of rebar In the plant that makes it rain And it seems to me that you lived your life Like a flashlight in the dark Never seeing the intruders Until they made their mark We would have liked to've known you But your part was just a bit Your role ended long before The chapter that it fit Your robot job was tough But you were not afraid Jack needed characterization And death was the price you paid Even when you died Our forum posters hounded you All of them hoped somehow They'd save your CPU And it seems to me that you lived your life Like a flashlight in the dark Never seeing the intruders Until they made their mark We would have liked to've known you But your part was just a bit Your role ended long before The chapter that it fit Goodbye Guard Robot Though we didn't know you at all You wore an awesome suit and tie While you were walking through your hall Goodbye Guard Robot From a guy you didn't even know Who saw you as an important bit part Who upset the status quo And it seems to me that you lived your life Like a flashlight in the dark Never seeing the intruders Until they made their mark We would have liked to've known you But your part was just a bit Your role ended long before The chapter that it fit In memoriam Guard RobotTwo Pages in our livesForever in our hearts |
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Necropaxx
Full Member
The natural choice for a shoulder to cry on.
Posts: 135
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Post by Necropaxx on Apr 10, 2010 2:27:02 GMT
Beautiful. Brought a tear to my eye. Truly, Guard Bot will be remembered as a hero.
(Now do the audio!)
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Post by Casey on Apr 10, 2010 4:50:48 GMT
This is easily the most brilliant thing I remember being posted here in... months, probably.
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Post by cazador on Apr 10, 2010 4:52:15 GMT
Alas, poor Guard Bot. I knew him well.
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Post by Mezzaphor on Apr 10, 2010 4:59:03 GMT
The light that burns twice as bright burns for half as long...
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Post by judgedeadd on Apr 10, 2010 7:38:36 GMT
Personally, I'm happy he died. He hogged all the screen-time and verged on Mary Sue levels, what with all this grand intellect and incredible karate-fu skills he was always boasting.
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Post by chiparoo on Apr 10, 2010 9:20:41 GMT
ell ooooh eeell
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Post by linnabean on Apr 10, 2010 18:12:35 GMT
i shall eat a doughnut in memory of him.
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Post by Mezzaphor on Apr 11, 2010 6:00:35 GMT
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Ruushi
Full Member
Touch the onion!!!
Posts: 146
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Post by Ruushi on Apr 11, 2010 19:14:01 GMT
Here lies Guard Robot
Killed by Jack
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Post by AluK on Apr 11, 2010 19:55:42 GMT
A lil' haiku for our most esteemed Robot (after Robox, obviously):
Poor Guard Robot,
A light in the dank Court
Shines no more.
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Post by Per on Apr 11, 2010 21:51:03 GMT
Robo-guard
Found whistling hard
And was killed by Jack
In a sneak attack
To the horror of Annie
And also Renard.
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Post by djinks on Apr 12, 2010 12:55:14 GMT
You think there would be more than one guard robot at the scene.
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Ruushi
Full Member
Touch the onion!!!
Posts: 146
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Post by Ruushi on Apr 12, 2010 12:55:57 GMT
Reminds me when someone blamed me for killing a feather.
HELLO!!!THAT FEATHER JUST FELL!!!I DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT!!!
THEN YOU START CRYING SAYING I KILLED IT!!!LAST I HEARD
SOMETHING ABOUT FEATHER YOU TOUCH IT AND IT'LL KILL YOU!!!
Felt good letting that out...
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Post by the bandit on Apr 12, 2010 14:58:44 GMT
This assuages my grief. Thank you, peas.
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cathect
New Member
At last the birds take off.
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Post by cathect on Apr 12, 2010 21:43:53 GMT
What a beautiful poem. You have a lot of talent, Mr. peas.
Oh, Guard Robot may you live on in our hearts always. *sniffle*
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Post by todd on Apr 12, 2010 22:14:44 GMT
You think there would be more than one guard robot at the scene. Maybe the Court administration didn't seriously think that any unauthorized people would be rowing out all the way to the Power Station (though in that case, there'd be the question of why have any security robots there at all). |
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Post by Rasselas on Apr 14, 2010 22:55:28 GMT
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Post by legion on Apr 14, 2010 23:23:57 GMT
You know, I can't help but think this song would be more appropriate. I apologize for this, if you need me, I'll be out of this thread. |
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Post by idonotlikepeas on Apr 15, 2010 17:08:48 GMT
Rasselas, that is an absolutely wonderful rendition. Thank you. I'm touched that you thought it was worth spending any time on recording my little nonsense song. Since presumably it isn't well-known out of the States (and presumably Britain), the original song I was parodying may be heard here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uvux60fqNU8 |
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Post by Mezzaphor on Apr 16, 2010 0:03:11 GMT
Seconding the love for Rasselas's recording.
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Post by Rasselas on Apr 16, 2010 0:08:26 GMT
Bah! Now that I've listened to it, I think mine's better. Haha! Except the recording is shitty. I guessed it's some kind of parody, but I'm the kind of freak that refuses to watch tv or listen to radio, so I hadn't heard this song. Or I might've heard it, but it's kind of unremarkable so I didn't remember it. I just saw this as an opportunity to come up with something original.  I was kind of going for a slightly Johnny Cash-esque thing. Guard Robot deserves it. Anyway, this wouldn't have been possible had you not come up with the awesome lyrics! Thank you. |
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Post by Mr Pitchfork on Apr 17, 2010 21:54:40 GMT
Honestly, it sounds waaay better as a low-fi recording than if it were recorded super hi-fi. It would have less energy if it were done in a studio.
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Post by Ignotus Somnium on Apr 18, 2010 9:05:54 GMT
This entire thread is a thing of beauty. Pity Mrs. Guard Robot and Guard Robot Jr. couldn't come, but they can hopefully access the youtube tributes over the Court network.
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jon77
Full Member
Posts: 245
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Post by jon77 on Apr 18, 2010 10:07:47 GMT
Nonsense, Guard Robot isn't dead, he deliberately faked his own death so he could escape by possessing Jack's backpack, which happens to have a button sewed onto it which looks like a pair of eyes, because he was in fact jailed on this island ten years ago with only a flashlight for company after illegally disposing of a pair of batteries.
(ducks for cover)
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Post by Mezzaphor on Apr 18, 2010 13:29:03 GMT
And now that he's successfully faked his death, he'll focus on his musical career. The record label will claim that all these "posthumous" albums are taken from his huge backlog of unpublished demos.
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Post by aaroncampbell on Aug 8, 2011 1:26:34 GMT
Stumbled across this thread again while hunting for something else old in the forums, and thought I should bring it back to mind for everyone.
Sigh. I miss Guard Bot.
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Post by Mezzaphor on Aug 11, 2011 6:46:24 GMT
I see the original link to Rasselas' recording doesn't work any more. I reuploaded the track here so more people can experience the magic. |
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Post by Ulysses on Aug 12, 2011 0:01:38 GMT
I miss Guard Robot, he was cool. Here's something I conjured up ages ago from my own frail sense of humour:  |
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Post by Alexandragon on Aug 13, 2011 21:51:19 GMT
He will "live" forever in our hearts. Rest in peace, Guard ROBOT!
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