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TheGremlin
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Temple of Boxbot
« Thread Started on Jul 5, 2010, 1:37am »
Come, and join the terrible wonderful priesthood of the great Boxbot!
First, I would like to dispel a few rumours.
Fiction: Boxbot is terrible.
Fact: Boxbot is in fact wonderful, unlike the blasphemous Robox! My evidence for this:
This signed paper from Tom!
What? No signature, you say? Well, um, Tom, *ahem* can't write. So of course he ddin't sign his name. NEXT QUESTION!
Fiction: Boxbot can only say 'Helloooo' and 'Awwww'.
Fact: Boxbot speaks to us, but only us, his faithful servants. Wait! He speaks now! He says...he has gone temporarily mute. Not to worry! He'll be able to talk tomorrow, I'm sure! And his priesthood wouldn't lie!
Fiction: Boxbot is terrible.
Fact: Clearly you remain unconvinced. Didn't you see that we already busted this myth? NEXT QUESTION!
Fiction: Boxbot's clergy are insane.
Fact: I'll let my puppet, Mr. Beaker, answer this one. What? What's that, Beaker? Ah! Well, same to you! Stupid puppet.
Fiction: Boxbot is terrible.
Fact: He's just misunderstood!
Fac--Fiction: Boxbot is terrible.
Fact: Look, he's not terrible! Um...LOOK! SOMETHING SHINY! Skip to the next question, Beaker!
Fiction: Boxbot is terrible.
Fact: Looks like it's time for an exorcism, Beaker!

Anyways, come and join the Temple of Boxbot, and help us prove that Boxbot is not at all terrible!

Now, our first bit of business: Why and how is the holy water on fire? Is this another one of Lord Boxbot's miracles?
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Then this robot beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the terrible and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy crest be terrible and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and terrible robot wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy terrible name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth Boxbot, `Hellooo!'
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Re: Temple of Boxbot
« Reply #1 on Jul 5, 2010, 1:48am »
You're crazy. Stop being so crazy.
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TheGremlin
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Re: Temple of Boxbot
« Reply #2 on Jul 5, 2010, 2:19am »
Heresy!
Fortunately for you, we are understanding. Mr. Beaker would have me slowly torture you to death. I, however, have a humane proposal: You renounce what you have said, join the clergy, and punch Elvis in the face. :)
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Then this robot beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the terrible and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy crest be terrible and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and terrible robot wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy terrible name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth Boxbot, `Hellooo!'
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Re: Temple of Boxbot
« Reply #3 on Jul 5, 2010, 3:17am »
You speak blasphemy. Clearly Robox is the superior deity. Boxbot is trying to lead you from his path of awesome into the pit of terribleness.
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TheGremlin
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Re: Temple of Boxbot
« Reply #4 on Jul 5, 2010, 3:26am »
You are mad. MAD! MAD! MAD! MAD! MAD! Isn't he mad, Beaker? Yes, he is! MAD! MAD! MAD! Wait, what? Stupid puppet! He's mad, mad MAD MAD MAD!
Etc.
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Then this robot beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the terrible and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy crest be terrible and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and terrible robot wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy terrible name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth Boxbot, `Hellooo!'
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Re: Temple of Boxbot
« Reply #5 on Jul 5, 2010, 3:34am »
Behold! Here is your false prophet! He sings the praises of Boxbot the Terrible! Lord of All That Is Stupid and Pointless! Burn him, says I! Or at least singe him a little bit! SINGE HIM!
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TheGremlin
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Re: Temple of Boxbot
« Reply #6 on Jul 5, 2010, 5:09am »
HERETICS! Only Lord Boxbot can save your souls now! Renounce your fool Robox and perhaps Boxbot will have mercy on your sad souls!
*Burns Robox in effigy*
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Then this robot beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the terrible and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy crest be terrible and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and terrible robot wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy terrible name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth Boxbot, `Hellooo!'
preus
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Re: Temple of Boxbot
« Reply #7 on Jul 5, 2010, 5:27am »
What is that, a cardboard box you painted silver with tube legs? It's a pretty good likeness actually. You used stereo speakers for eyes, right? That's quite clever. Well done.
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edzepp
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Re: Temple of Boxbot
« Reply #8 on Jul 5, 2010, 7:11am »
I am from the Church of the Divine Mechanical Bovine.

YOU WILL ACCEPT LASER COW AS YOUR LORD AND SAVIOR
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Signature? We don't need no Steen-kin signature!
TheGremlin
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Re: Temple of Boxbot
« Reply #9 on Jul 5, 2010, 4:47pm »

Jul 5, 2010, 7:11am, edzepp wrote:
I am from the Church of the Divine Mechanical Bovine.

YOU WILL ACCEPT LASER COW AS YOUR LORD AND SAVIOR
Fools! Your pathetic cows will never reach the status of a true Gunnerkrig Court religion!
Because you don't have burnt effigies. We do. Sucks to be you.
(What's that, Beaker? The fire from the effigy spread to the entire church? Well, just don't let anybody find out!)
« Last Edit: Jul 5, 2010, 4:50pm by TheGremlin »Link to Post - Back to Top  IP: Logged
Then this robot beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the terrible and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy crest be terrible and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and terrible robot wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy terrible name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth Boxbot, `Hellooo!'
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Re: Temple of Boxbot
« Reply #10 on Jul 5, 2010, 5:29pm »

Jul 5, 2010, 4:47pm, TheGremlin wrote:

Jul 5, 2010, 7:11am, edzepp wrote:
I am from the Church of the Divine Mechanical Bovine.

YOU WILL ACCEPT LASER COW AS YOUR LORD AND SAVIOR
Fools! Your pathetic cows will never reach the status of a true Gunnerkrig Court religion!
Because you don't have burnt effigies. We do. Sucks to be you.
(What's that, Beaker? The fire from the effigy spread to the entire church? Well, just don't let anybody find out!)


The Fire Marshal almost had a epilepsy. He kindly asked to speak on his behalf and tell you to politely desist or get hosed.

And by hosed, I mean shot.

With bullets. And shurikens.

And lighting.

He is one hell of a Fire Marshal.
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If you're to love anything,it will be soft, tender and open to being flayed by disappointment, betrayal, loss. If you want to make sure it stays intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal, so lock it away. But in that casket- safe, dark- it will change. . It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable and useless.

-C.S. Lewis. (paraphrasing)
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Re: Temple of Boxbot
« Reply #11 on Jul 5, 2010, 5:46pm »

Jul 5, 2010, 5:29pm, dawngazer wrote:

Jul 5, 2010, 4:47pm, TheGremlin wrote:
Fools! Your pathetic cows will never reach the status of a true Gunnerkrig Court religion!
Because you don't have burnt effigies. We do. Sucks to be you.
(What's that, Beaker? The fire from the effigy spread to the entire church? Well, just don't let anybody find out!)


The Fire Marshal almost had a epilepsy. He kindly asked to speak on his behalf and tell you to politely desist or get hosed.

And by hosed, I mean shot.

With bullets. And shurikens.

And lighting.

He is one hell of a Fire Marshal.
Lord Boxbot will STRIKE THE MARSHAL DOWN! HERETICS!
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Then this robot beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the terrible and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy crest be terrible and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and terrible robot wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy terrible name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth Boxbot, `Hellooo!'
preus
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Re: Temple of Boxbot
« Reply #12 on Jul 6, 2010, 3:13am »
Out fire martial is so badass.

We should bake him a cake. MADE OF BULLETS AND NAILS.
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TheGremlin
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Re: Temple of Boxbot
« Reply #13 on Jul 6, 2010, 4:12am »
HERESY!
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Then this robot beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the terrible and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy crest be terrible and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and terrible robot wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy terrible name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth Boxbot, `Hellooo!'
preus
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Re: Temple of Boxbot
« Reply #14 on Jul 6, 2010, 7:56am »
Little known fact: The word heresy comes from the Greek haireisthai, meaning to choose of one's own free will.
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whosit
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Re: Temple of Boxbot
« Reply #15 on Jul 6, 2010, 8:20am »
Holy frikkin' barfmonkeys... why couldn't the Beast take a less abominable form? Like, a jaguar made of Geraldo's mustache clippings and razor-wire? No, no... it just HAD to be Boxbot.
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"Vat did ve lend on?"
"Hy lended on rocks. Hyu lended on me."
"Oh. Tenk hyu."
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Re: Temple of Boxbot
« Reply #16 on Jul 6, 2010, 8:25am »
"to choose of one's own free will" is one heck of a pleonasm. My dic says it comes "hairesis" which just means "choice, taking", leading to Latin "haeresis", originally meaning "doctrine, system", then "doctrine opposed to the Church's dogma" in Church Latin.


Dictionary tip: the etymology of a word is not its meaning.
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whosit
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Re: Temple of Boxbot
« Reply #17 on Jul 6, 2010, 8:34am »
I say we end this abomination, before Boxbot claims any more souls.

How does one kill such a demon as Boxbot, you ask??? With SCIENCE!!!

(Cue theme music)
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"Vat did ve lend on?"
"Hy lended on rocks. Hyu lended on me."
"Oh. Tenk hyu."
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Re: Temple of Boxbot
« Reply #18 on Jul 6, 2010, 9:16am »

Jul 6, 2010, 8:25am, legion wrote:
"to choose of one's own free will" is one heck of a pleonasm. My dic says it comes "hairesis" which just means "choice, taking", leading to Latin "haeresis", originally meaning "doctrine, system", then "doctrine opposed to the Church's dogma" in Church Latin.


Dictionary tip: the etymology of a word is not its meaning.

You're right. 'Choose' would have been more than sufficient.
My dictionary says different. Whatever.
I never claimed etymology equated with meaning. You can't say I did. Or rather, you can, but that would be a big stinky fib.
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Re: Temple of Boxbot
« Reply #19 on Jul 6, 2010, 3:09pm »

Jul 5, 2010, 1:37am, TheGremlin wrote:
Now, our first bit of business: Why and how is the holy water on fire? Is this another one of Lord Boxbot's miracles?

Since this is Boxbot's religion we're talking about, the 'holy water' is clearly absinthe. If it's on fire, it's not a miracle--it's just your fault. :D
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"Vat did ve lend on?"
"Hy lended on rocks. Hyu lended on me."
"Oh. Tenk hyu."
TheGremlin
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Re: Temple of Boxbot
« Reply #20 on Jul 6, 2010, 4:47pm »
Begin the sacrifices, so that we may be successful in our battle!
*A single pig sitting on the ground*
*Few minutes later...*
Begin the sacrifices, so that we may be successful in our sacrifice! *Stabs orange*
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Then this robot beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the terrible and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy crest be terrible and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and terrible robot wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy terrible name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth Boxbot, `Hellooo!'
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Re: Temple of Boxbot
« Reply #21 on Jul 6, 2010, 8:01pm »
This thread is terrible and you should feel terrible.
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Forumites are a Boxbot's plaything.
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Re: Temple of Boxbot
« Reply #22 on Jul 6, 2010, 8:49pm »
*Throws orange at HERETIC*
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Then this robot beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the terrible and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy crest be terrible and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and terrible robot wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy terrible name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth Boxbot, `Hellooo!'
whosit
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Re: Temple of Boxbot
« Reply #23 on Jul 6, 2010, 9:11pm »
Grem, is that an ethereal boxbot I see on your head? Hold still....

(To Bandit) Well, at least you only got an orange thrown at your head. They tried to throw me into the Boxbot pit. Uncalled for, really... you'd think I'd challenged their beliefs and plotted to destroy their idol, or something. ;D
« Last Edit: Jul 6, 2010, 9:15pm by whosit »Link to Post - Back to Top  IP: Logged
"Vat did ve lend on?"
"Hy lended on rocks. Hyu lended on me."
"Oh. Tenk hyu."
TheGremlin
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Re: Temple of Boxbot
« Reply #24 on Jul 7, 2010, 12:11am »

Jul 6, 2010, 9:11pm, whosit wrote:
Grem, is that an ethereal boxbot I see on your head? Hold still....

(To Bandit) Well, at least you only got an orange thrown at your head. They tried to throw me into the Boxbot pit. Uncalled for, really... you'd think I'd challenged their beliefs and plotted to destroy their idol, or something. ;D
TOUCH NOT THE HOLY INCARNATION OF OUR LORD! HERETIC! *Throws moldy banana at Whosit*
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Then this robot beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the terrible and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy crest be terrible and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and terrible robot wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy terrible name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth Boxbot, `Hellooo!'
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Re: Temple of Boxbot
« Reply #25 on Jul 7, 2010, 12:21am »

Jul 5, 2010, 2:19am, TheGremlin wrote:
Heresy!


...


YOU. ARE. A. TOOOOOOOYIIIE!



You aren't the real disciple of Boxbot!You're a!- Dargh your an action figure!

You are a Boxbot's plaything!



With that said, I'm the real disciple of Boxbot who was in hiding! I reveal myself now. Mind the fireworks and marching band that materialize with that announcement- a miracles by our great Boxbot!
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If you're to love anything,it will be soft, tender and open to being flayed by disappointment, betrayal, loss. If you want to make sure it stays intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal, so lock it away. But in that casket- safe, dark- it will change. . It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable and useless.

-C.S. Lewis. (paraphrasing)
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Re: Temple of Boxbot
« Reply #26 on Jul 7, 2010, 1:33am »
My people believe that Boxbot and Robox will join together in a matrimony that will end the universe with terribleness and rebirth it with awesome
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Come here and help me out
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Re: Temple of Boxbot
« Reply #27 on Jul 8, 2010, 4:06pm »

Jul 7, 2010, 1:33am, Dvandaemon wrote:
My people believe that Boxbot and Robox will join together in a matrimony that will end the universe with terribleness and rebirth it with awesome
...
This is worse than heresy. This is...TERRIBLE.
KILL THE ABOMINATION! *Fires comically outdated blunderbuss which fails to work*
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Then this robot beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the terrible and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy crest be terrible and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and terrible robot wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy terrible name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth Boxbot, `Hellooo!'
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Re: Temple of Boxbot
« Reply #28 on Sept 8, 2010, 7:41pm »
pfft, you mere mortals praise an unworthy god, the only true god is...





Kat! She of awesome! She who punches topless owl-men! She who builds robots of cool! She who has haircuts that rock your socks! She with the weird thing for birds...!
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Nerdlinger nerd nerds.
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Re: Temple of Boxbot
« Reply #29 on Sept 9, 2010, 12:33am »

Sept 8, 2010, 7:41pm, theweatherman wrote:
pfft, you mere mortals praise an unworthy god, the only true god is...





Kat! She of awesome! She who punches topless owl-men! She who builds robots of cool! She who has haircuts that rock your socks! She with the weird thing for birds...!

Not to mention she could destroy and rebuild both Robox and Boxbot a million times over.
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